Want news from Conservative Party HQ delivered to your desktop? Funny, us neither.
The Conservatives.com Internet Explorer toolbar displays headlines as they happen.
As well as Google searches, pop-up blocking and speedy access to Conservative Party sites (phew), it has a patented auto-repatriation feature for illegal asylum seekers.
We made that last bit up - but who knows in version two?
As there’s no privacy policy to say what happens to personal data, we assume that lists of sites and searches are sent pronto to Michael Howard’s inbox.
Want to keep on message on the move? If you’re feeling flush - lest we forget, money will grow on trees under a Conservative government - you can also sign up for Tory text alerts.
Subscribers get 160 fun-packed characters for just £1.50 + VAT. Cheap at twice the price, we’re sure you’ll agree.
UPDATE: Conservatives.com web accessibity claims are a sham too.