Hard on drugs – or on hard drugs?

Top Tories on drugs? Whatever next.

With the Tory leadership race in full swing, we felt obliged to come out of retirement.

In honour of David Cameron, we offer this roll-up-and-keep commerative banknote.

David Cameron commemorative bank note

Cameron once called himself the “Coke candidate”, meaning he was “the real thing”. At least that’s what we assumed he meant.

Incidentally, we suspect the cocaine claims are an elaborate ruse to persuade the kids that Class A’s aren’t cool.

50 Responses to “Hard on drugs – or on hard drugs?”

  1. DT says:

    Welcome back!

  2. Joe says:

    Please, sort out your apostrophes and stop using them to denote plurals, it’s just plain wrong.

  3. danny says:

    welcome back….hope the best site in the world is reguarly updated! joe stop moaning….as “the birds are flying”

  4. Bob says:

    Seems Cameron may not be the only one who has been partial to a line or two, I wonder why the Shadow Chancellor has been so defensive.

  5. Antonio Valdina says:

    Well, by selecting Cameron, the Tories have just made themselves MORE unelectable. They’ve made Lord Snooty their leader. On with the overprivileged and ignore the hindward!

    There are some words that just shouldn’t go together, like “Tory government” and “this century”.

  6. Paul says:

    Typed in “I hate the tories” and got directed here…great .

  7. Val says:

    I love this website!
    Mmm, Thatcher on the roll-up – that’s rather suspicious. Didn’t she have a degree in Chemistry? Who was supplying all these Tory cokeheads, I wonder?

  8. Dave Cameron says:

    Let a chap defend himself. I have my own blog now. Jolly good show.

  9. Jonathan says:

    In response to Antonio Valdina I’d like to point out that for quite some time we conservatives have had a lead in the polls
    (from you gov -
    Con 39;
    Lab 32;
    LibDem 16;
    BNP 4;
    UKIP 4;
    SNP/PCY 3,
    Green 3.)

    Bad news for all you Blair lovers!

  10. Comrade Luke says:

    The thing is Jonathan, when it comes to an election in the next year or so, and there is a labour option that isn’t tony blair, how far is this ‘new tory’ marketing ploy going to get you? Not only that but it is alienates your core support of old biddies and fat cats.

  11. Jonathan says:

    Well Comrade Luke I have great delight in telling you that without Tony labour isn’t magically cured. Gordon just agrees with everything he does and people are getting sick of him, he puts off the middle class and basically, this government’s out of steam, so don’t think the conservatives are gone for good. (Also boundry changes will do us good!)

    Regarding my figures above, they remain roughly the same, one more point for the silly LibDems and I don’t have accurate info. on UKIP or the BNP. (con and Lab are exactly the same). Also , the conservatives are actually ahead in Scotland, even I don’t understand that.

    Finally, most of the traditionally tory support will stay our way (can you honestly imagine people in Surry not voting conservative?), and all this support for the far right is from a new generation of working class who’ve been betrayed by the modern labour party. Their heartlands in Burnley or Barking were never very likely tory areas so there’s another front for labour to lose votes on.

    Finally we aren’t “new tory”, we’re not as smarmy as that sickinging git Blair (who stole it from the “new democrats” in the USA)

  12. Pamela says:

    Heil Jonathon
    You are exactly right-there is no such thing as a new tory – that would be a contradiction in terms! David Cameron and his smarmy catwalk politics may have swayed people to like him, but no-one really wants the idiotic eton boy to have any real influence, it would be like letting a kid play with matches. never going to happen

  13. Duncan McAlister says:

    Of course if it was Labour scum on drugs that would be just be “adolescent experimentation”, “froth” and “avoiding policy”.

  14. Commonsence says:

    Let me respond to you commrade luke with a comment that goes something along the lines of: tony Blair is the Best leader labour have ever had (he supports Margret Thatcher – Score 1 for intellegence for blair), and look who is replacing him. Gordan Brown. It just goes to show how downhill Labour have gone. I think that the British National party is now a better party than Labour, which is a danger to the nation. Tories are the only realistic way forward. Rock on David Cameron – A tru british Hereo.

  15. Ted says:

    Fucking labour scum,

    Don’t you realise you have lost, labour is now tory by another name. Nationalisation and all the other lefty ideas that almost destroyed Britain will never come back and a sad little website will never change that.

    So in conclusion you stupid, bitter and ignorant fuckers should take a look in the mirror.

  16. eddy says:

    am nice job pls let me knw more about you

  17. Scott says:

    I am conservative in principle and I would probarly vote Conservative in the next General Election. Any thing to get rid of that awful Gordon Brown

  18. Jared says:

    To all tory scumbags – fuck off.

    Preferably to somewhere like Darfur or Basra.

  19. Armchair Critic says:

    Laughable Left-wing idiots.

    Labour will do what they always do and leave the country bankrupt and the Tory government, which will inevitably follow, will come in and make us all live within our means again and you pathetic losers will scream like babies.

    you are just so fucking blind. Its pathetic!

  20. Call them and hate them all you like.

    The Tories will thrash the incompetent fools we have in power today at the next election.

    Regardless to what replies I get from this, I AM CORRECT!!

    Good riddence to the party that thinks more abour foreign freeloaders, than it does it’s own people.

    Bye Bye mr incompetence, you’re packing your bags!!!!!!!!!

  21. PS, I was once a Labour voter, then I realised that the party I once voted for were quite simply not competent enough to run our country.

    Yet another fact!!

    Harman = joke
    Brown = joke
    The party as a whole = corrupt!

  22. Antonio Valdina says:
    9 December, 2005 at 11:12 pm

    That doesn’t seem to be anEnglish name.
    Why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself and GO HOME.

  23. Jeremy Clarkson says:

    I agree with ‘Labour are incompetant’. You Labour lovers will get your arses kicked come the next election.

  24. Rob says:

    Have you lot running this site gone and hanged yourselves yet after seeing the latest polls? Hopefully this is the end of socialism in Britain.

  25. Remeber says:

    Labour might be f***** but many people in Scotland will have not forgtton what those Tory bastards did to the country the last time they were in power and will never vote Tory again!

  26. Anonymous says:

    Please come back!… We need you now more than ever.

  27. Robbie says:

    It’s ironic how on a website called toryscum.com there is so much tory scum

  28. Robbie says:

    I mean, don’t you have your own website

  29. linda says:

    I found this website http://www.afuturefairforall.com which seems to sum up why the existing Conservative Party Leader David Cameron and Shadow chancellor George Osborne (Bullingdon Club Members) should not be in charge of our country. Middle and working class voters are not as daft as these guys think. Why not send the web address to all voters and let them see who these guys realy are.


  30. Jonathan ross says:

    Gordon brown you are incompetant fool. Get ready to leave number 10 and fuck off back to Scotland.

  31. Richard Littlejohn says:

    When are you boys getting this up and running again? We need the socialist communist facist politically correct nanny state loving red nazis to make us laugh, as quite frankly, us on the right are just plain scary, unfunny and have a overriding tendancy to hit the exclamation mark button instead of the full stop!
    Lets hope that Dave can get in and help the rich because otherwise all the spivs and chancers in the city will move from docklands to the US, to hell in a handjob and I’m not making that up!

  32. twobells says:

    The way the left behaved with their ‘tory scum’ chants when cameron arrived at 10 Downing St last night was small-minded and sad, I will NEVER vote labour again after seeing that.
    In ’97 when labour were voted in the centre and centre right accepted the decision with good grace, but now we are seeing the true face of the losers, they can’t stand power slipping away from them.

  33. twobells says:

    Red Rag says:
    1 February, 2010 at 6:03 pm
    Keeping the Toryscum flame alive:


    Where we are spinning like tops.
    This ridiculous blog suggests that the labour party website crashed due to ‘numerous people wanting to join’, the actual reality was that the site has been ddos’d (denial of service attack) by people sending them on their way. :-)

  34. I see Good Times ahead!!

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  39. Eric Pickles says:

    Please have a got at me as I am useless Complete Unctous Noxious Twit

  40. Swims like a brick says:

    Well, here we are, one year into a coalition of millionaire wankers and back to the 80s again. Unemployment up, VAT up, prescriptions up, wages down, schools struggling, bankers and brokers squirreling money abroad, everything that’s left up for sale for a fast buck while the bankers who fucked the entire western economy carry on with their self-awarded gratuities. The Tories didn’t even need to win an election to fuck us up this time!
    Thatcher closed all the coal mines just to spite the NUM and now they’re trying to open them again because surprise surprise, there’s coal down there. Well bugger me.
    That stupid little bald whacko rightwing prick Hague spouts off about Gadaffi using the military against his own people and how we won’t stand for it, then that bitch Theresa May announces the fucking Tory scum will use all means available against dissenters here, plastic bullets, water cannon, CS gas.
    They’ll be voted into history soon enough, if they don’t get burned out, the bastards.
    You couldn’t make it

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