Archive for March, 2005

The pages are for turning

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

The Enemy Within- Seumas Milne

Bile and spleen will cover your screen as the election’s called, but there are few more persuasive polemics than Seumas Milne’s The Enemy Within, a post-mortem of our darkest hour.

Army called in to suppress strikes? Check. Secondary picketing outlawed? Ditto. Security services misused to undermine democracy? Been there, outsourced the t-shirt.

Still, at least it could never happen now.

*slaps own head*

Fact totem

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

Channel 4’s FactCheck promises to deliver the most reliable factual analysis available of each political party’s claims. The site is certain to be invaluable in the coming weeks.

Still at channel4.com, a Snowmail subscription is a must. John Snow and the Channel 4 News team bring analysis of the day’s events to your inbox every evening.

Celebra-tories: Busted

Wednesday, March 30th, 2005

Charlie Simpson of Busted

Busted star Charlie Simpson (now fronting Fightstar) came clean about his true blue politics in October 2004.

He told Tatler, the rich man’s Hello! magazine:

“I don’t really like politics but I’ve always grown up with their view – the Tories’ way of doing things. I just prefer it,”

Busted bandmate Matt Jay added:

“From the financial position I am in now, I am a fucking Tory boy too.”

The band went on to invite Michael Howard to appear in a video; Simpson said:

“He owes us one, really, and we like the idea of doing our bit for the voting youth.”

Howard bottled it. Busted did their bit for the voting youth by splitting weeks later.

Liam Fox is a lying bastard – official

Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

How can we not link to a story with that headline? Top notch politics blog Honourable Fiend does the decent thing and gives the other Dr Fox both barrels.

Michael Howard, meanwhile, is a closet Morrissey fan. Possibly.

Celebra-tories: Jonathan King

Tuesday, March 29th, 2005

Jonathan King

Pop star paedophile Jonathan King was released on parole today – and guess who he’ll be backing in the general election?

A lengthy profile in The Observer reveals that the self-styled King of Hits had three prison pin-ups: Will Smith, Sam Fox and Margaret Thatcher.

King famously persuaded Thatcher to sing How Much Is That Doggy In The Window? at the 1990 Brit Awards.

After spending 3.5 years banged up at Her Majesty’s pleasure, we had expected his political views to have softened somewhat.

Do the French cheat the Conservatives?

Monday, March 28th, 2005

Daily Mail front page

Of course they do. The Daily Mail-O-Matic creates random headlines straight from the pages of Britain’s favourite loony right wing paper. We recommend Mail Watch for a day-to-day rebuttal of nonsense such as…

“Married women in their mid-50s with two children living in Leeds are the happiest people in Britain, a new study claims.”

[Link]

“Rachel Hunter? She’s spotty, fat and finished”

[Link]

“Blackpool ‘good for your health’”

[Link]

Quotes are from today’s dailymail.co.uk. Spotted any other gems in the Mail or Express? Let us know with a link to the offending article.

Feeling queasy? Try the Adult Children of Daily Mail Readers rehab group.

What’s the story boring Tory?

Monday, March 28th, 2005

Want news from Conservative Party HQ delivered to your desktop? Funny, us neither.

The Conservatives.com Internet Explorer toolbar displays headlines as they happen.

As well as Google searches, pop-up blocking and speedy access to Conservative Party sites (phew), it has a patented auto-repatriation feature for illegal asylum seekers.

We made that last bit up – but who knows in version two?

As there’s no privacy policy to say what happens to personal data, we assume that lists of sites and searches are sent pronto to Michael Howard’s inbox.

Want to keep on message on the move? If you’re feeling flush – lest we forget, money will grow on trees under a Conservative government – you can also sign up for Tory text alerts.

Subscribers get 160 fun-packed characters for just £1.50 + VAT. Cheap at twice the price, we’re sure you’ll agree.

UPDATE: Conservatives.com web accessibity claims are a sham too.

New Labour campaign songs

Sunday, March 27th, 2005

Forget Iraq, foundation hospitals or education. The real batteground for the general election will be popular music.

Labour’s ‘97 campaign was soundtracked by Things Can Only Get Better by the diabolical D:Ream. The 2003 Labour Party conference had Heather Small’s appalling Proud.

So what will be their 2005 campaign song? We say…

  • Centre-left to My Own Devices – Pet Shop Boys
  • Gordon Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison
  • 3rd Way Too Blue – Nick Drake
  • Grant Maintained School’s Out – Alice Cooper
  • Won’t Get Fooled Again – The Who
  • Iraq Me Tonight – Freddie Jackson
  • Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundation Hospitals
  • My Cherie Amour – Stevie Wonder
  • If You Tolerate Tuition Fees Then Your Children Will Be Next – Manic Street Preachers
  • Public Private Partnership Dancer – Tina Turner

Think you know better? Let us know.

UPDATE: The 2005 Labour campaign song will be U2’s Beautiful Day. Last year Bono described Blair and Brown as the Lennon and McCartney of global development.

ToryScum.com launch

Friday, March 25th, 2005

ToryScum.com will launch shortly. Contact us if you wish to hear when the site goes live.

In the mean time, treat yourself to ToryScum.com downloads.

ToryScum.com wallpaper 1